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What is this naya hullabaloo about FIFA! my fb newsfeed is full with these posts about girls’ love for Müller and who was that…yeah Ronaldo and then there are people shouting for Brazil no no Netherlands or wait, was that Spain? Ohh i just don’t know. Arey baba I open the internet to see  Facebook and there are like hundreds or thousands of footballs kicked towards me! I toh just don’t understand these sportswalas. Untill last month it was IPL IPL IPL and now its FIFA FIFA and more FIFA everywhere. IPL se pyaar toh is okay bhai, all cute cute celebrities sitting in the midst of the audience to cheer the players and then there is mere Shahrukh Ki team also upar se sare pyare pyare hindustani! But what about FIFA? ‘Begani shadi me Abdullah deewana’ that’s it! Aur nahi toh kya? If our Bhaichung Bhutia is not even playing there is no point watching football raat me jag ke ullu jaise!

Arey what do i tell you about mera khud ka bhai hain! That idiot he failed twice in geography when in class 8th and now he tells me about different different countries he is cheering for in FIFA! Bhai maine toh naam bhi nahi suna seriously! But i tell you the asli truth, he never watched a single game always dekhoes updates from his newspaper wala app and posts it on his wall as if he was watching the game, chor kahi ka! He went to his friend’s place and both enjoyed india-Sri Lanka series. Ask me!

Then there are these girls who can’t tell wether soccer is different from football have updated their cover photos wearing wo red wali tee-shirt pata nahi kaunse team ki just to jhaado impression on their boyfriends and other boyfriends and some more boyfriends! You toh know na that i know it all about them….huh not a single one can jaago late at night to watch any FIFA-SHIFA arey baba they will get big big bags under their eyes which toh they can’t bear i tell you, Who will do all that kharcha in the parlour offo! I saw apni ek junior ka status yesterday, ‘ Argentina tonight <3 ‘ and then there were comments Ki baarish like ohh i love Ronaldo and he is so sexy and that Messi is so cute, falana-dhimka!! Now listen andar Ki baat, this junior ladki  messaged tinkai the day before ‘ didi ye FIFA kya hota hai? Is it some football match series? Ye India ka match kab hai? ‘ Imagine! Tinkai just couldn’t help but laugh, and then she sent her the link where Wikipedia samjhaoed everyone what FIFA is!! Don’t believe me, see tinkai’s inbox.

I read kisika status ‘Pepe won’t play next match because he got a red card’, ohho I remember not playing a basketball match at school because i got my report card!

Bhai mai toh saaf saaf batau, i’m toh more excited about IIFA then FIFA. Arey how interesting it is na bhai to see who came with whom,  who hugged whom, who was wearing the best dress and looked total tabahi whereas who looked like a fashion disaster as always! I don’t understand why these wannabes don’t admit the fact that they know nothing about football and FIFA isn’t their cup of tea bhai! Acting as if they are so updated and are gods of hockey oops i mean football.

Anyway now i need to rush bohot zaruri kaam hai bhai, I’ve to go love lane. Jerry told me pura FIFA tees ka collection aaya hai! Ab what shall i do kitna bhi hate karu FIFA is so in and I’ll look so cute in that black wali tee-shirts, brazil Ki shayad. upar se everyone has one I can’t afford to look like a looser na!

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Mohona Dasgupta

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