Having reached the 19th year of my life, I had a chance to ponder upon the thought that crossed my head hundreds of time. What do I really want? Do I want a successful life or do I want a good life? Do I want to stay alone all through my life thinking that sharing my space with someone would mean sharing my resources? Or do I wanna live a life of joy n love where sharing my space with someone would mean sharing my soul? Just as good looks could be decisive talk of love n joy could  equally be the same. Once you compare money n love your moral shouts out loud that all you need in your life is love, but That’s not true! That cannot be…..i can’t eat love. Or can I ? Life isn’t a cakewalk right. Even romeo n juliet had to die. Moreover on this planet of liars n haters i stand in midst of a bunch of cunning people. Who do i trust apart from  family? Who do i chose to fall in love with? Moreover why do i do so? Why do i need someone to live a life? Life can be lead alone. Isn’t it? If we were supposed to essentially be with someone for living a life the almighty must not have sent us alone in the mother’s womb right? Yeah maybe my body needs a partner, i don’t doubt that! But then why? if its just the body why does the heartdownload keeps craving for a company? Be it an incomplete assignment or a missed interview, the lack of a romantic association seems to be the sole reason for all my troubles! But then again the brain directs me towards a different path. It shows me the road not taken, it wants me to walk alone, it wants me to walk a lonely road where its just me, my dreams, money, more money and sometimes parents but no one more. I explain myself at times that maybe am just not made for this or at some other times that all my past troubles were due to this one reason that i looked for love n got hooked up with the most awful people on earth! But then an inner voice shouts out all of them could not have been wrong’ so is it me? Am I the most awful person on earth who does not respect such a platonic thing as a romantic association? But then i don’t need to, do I? I can stand there alone watching the crowd passing by, watching a tear drop running down my eye.




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Mohona Dasgupta


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